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Let's talk about it podcast: How to talk about puberty with your son

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00:00:05 Welcome to “Let's talk about it” podcast brought to you by Laaha
00:00:13 Laaha is an open, online platform
00:00:16 where women and girls can get information
00:00:18 about their health, wellbeing, and safety
00:00:25 Please remember
00:00:26 All content provided on the platform is based on scientific knowledge
00:00:30 for educational purposes only
00:00:33 It is not intended to be a substitute
00:00:35 for professional medical advice or treatment
00:00:42 My name is Mariam
00:00:43 and today, we’re diving into a topic that can feel both important and intimidating
00:00:49 talking to your son about puberty
00:00:58 Whether your child is just approaching these changes or already in the middle of them
00:01:03 it’s never too late to have this conversation
00:01:06 We’ll walk you through why it’s important
00:01:08 how to get started, and what to say.
00:01:12 Puberty is a major milestone in your child’s life
00:01:15 marking a time of both physical and emotional change
00:01:19 For boys, this stage usually begins between the ages of 9 and 14
00:01:24 It's crucial to start these conversations early
00:01:27 ideally around age 9
00:01:30 so your son knows what to expect
00:01:32 and understands that you’re a trusted source of information
00:01:37 But what if your son has already started going through puberty
00:01:40 and you haven’t had the talk yet?
00:01:43 That’s okay
00:01:44 The fact that you’re here now shows that you care
00:01:47 and there’s still time to provide the support he needs
00:01:50 Talking to your son about puberty can help him feel less alone and scared
00:01:55 during this significant time of change
00:01:58 We know this conversation can be tricky
00:02:01 You might feel nervous or unprepare
00:02:04 Esepicially since you will be discussing topic
00:02:06 that aren’t usually talk about like genital body parts
00:02:11 If you are a mother or female caregiver
00:02:13 you might feel more uncomfortable to discussing male genital
00:02:18 In some culture it might even be unusual
00:02:21 orunacceptable for women to have this conversation with her son
00:02:25 If that’s the case, consider asking a male relative, friend
00:02:30 or another trusted individual to speak with your child
00:02:34 But if you decide to take this on yourself or if you’re a single parent
00:02:38 remember that with a bit of preparation you can handle this conversation confidently
00:02:44 Now, let’s talk about some tips
00:02:47 Here are some ways to make this conversation go smoothly
00:02:51 Tip 1: Use Real Words
00:02:54 It’s important for your son to know the correct names for their body parts
00:02:59 including their genitals
00:03:01 Using words like "penis" and "scrotum" instead other words
00:03:05 sends the message that there’s nothing wrong or weird about these parts of their body
00:03:10 If you haven’t been using these terms up until now
00:03:13 it’s okay to start
00:03:15 You might say something like
00:03:17 “You know how we’ve been using the word ___? ”
00:03:20 Well, really, it’s called a penis
00:03:23 It’s important to use real words to talk about our bodies
00:03:26 so that’s the word I’ll use from now on
00:03:30 Tip 2: Have Short Talks Over Time
00:03:34 Puberty is a complex subject that ties into other big topics like sex and sexuality
00:03:43 You don’t have to and shouldn’t cover everything in one go
00:03:48 Instead, think of this as an ongoing conversation
00:03:52 Share a bit of information
00:03:54 see how your son reacts
00:03:56 and continue the discussion based on his questions and readiness
00:04:01 Having regular conversations also normalize these topics
00:04:06 and makes them easier to talk about
00:04:09 Tip 3: It’s Okay Not to Know Everything
00:04:13 If your son asks a question and you’re not sure how to answer
00:04:17 that’s perfectly fine
00:04:18 You can say “Hmm… good question”
00:04:22 I love that you’re asking me what’s on your mind
00:04:24 and I want to give you a thoughtful answer so let me think about it and come back to you soon
00:04:31 Tip 4: Respond Without Judgment
00:04:35 Your son might ask questions that seem funny or even shocking to you
00:04:40 Try to answer as calmly as possible without judgment
00:04:44 If he sees you’re comfortable
00:04:46 he’ll feel more comfortable asking questions in the future
00:04:50 Tip 5: Acknowledge Feelings and Provide Comfort
00:04:55 Puberty can bring up a lot of emotions
00:04:58 loss, fear, frustration, and even excitement
00:05:02 It’s important to recognize and validate these feelings
00:05:06 You might say
00:05:08 “I wonder if you’re feeling X about this”
00:05:11 That makes sense
00:05:13 Even if you guess the wrong feeling
00:05:14 it opens the door for him to share what he’s really feeling
00:05:18 Now let get into some sample scripts that help you get started
00:05:23 with the proper conversation
00:05:25 First, introduce the conversation to your son
00:05:29 you can say
00:05:30 “I want to talk to you about something called puberty”
00:05:33 Have you heard that word or know what it means?
00:05:36 It’s totally fine if you haven’t or if you have
00:05:41 After her responds you can say
00:05:44 Puberty is a normal, healthy part of growing up
00:05:47 It’s a stage when healthy body chemicals called ‘hormones’
00:05:51 start to change your body and how it works and feels
00:05:56 Some of these changes you’ll be able to see
00:05:59 and some you can’t
00:06:01 Here what you can say to Explain Emotional Changes
00:06:05 Some changes in puberty you can see in your body
00:06:08 and then there are other changes we can’t see
00:06:11 but they’re still very real
00:06:13 Those new body chemicals hormones
00:06:16 can create changes in your feelings and emotions
00:06:21 You may start to feel things more intensely
00:06:24 and sometimes it might feel confusing or overwhelming
00:06:29 If you start to feel this way it’s okay and it’s normal
00:06:33 And I want you to know you can always talk to me
00:06:37 Here are some script you can use to explain male anatomy changes
00:06:42 you can start by saying
00:06:44 Let’s talk about the changes that will happen in your body
00:06:48 so they won’t be a surprise
00:06:50 You might notice getting taller your voice getting deeper
00:06:54 and your penis, scrotum and testicles getting larger
00:06:58 you may notice hair growing around your penis
00:07:01 under your arms, and on your face
00:07:04 When the time is right
00:07:06 we’ll talk about how to manage all that change
00:07:09 You also wanna talk about him with erections
00:07:13 you can say
00:07:15 Penises are sometimes soft and sometimes hard
00:07:18 There’s nothing wrong either way
00:07:20 When they become hard, it’s just because extra blood is flowing there
00:07:25 It can happen when you wake up
00:07:27 when you pee, when you rub it or sometimes for no reason at all
00:07:33 You also wanna talk to him about ejaculation
00:07:37 you can say
00:07:39 Your body will also start making something new called semen
00:07:44 which is a white fluid that comes out of your penis
00:07:48 and has little cells called sperm
00:07:51 Sperm is one of the things needed to make a baby
00:07:56 but it doesn’t mean you’re automatically ready to do that
00:08:00 Or that you will
00:08:02 It just means your body has the parts it needs
00:08:05 if you choose to have a baby someday
00:08:08 You can also talk to your son about wet dreams
00:08:12 you could say
00:08:14 You might have something called wet dreams
00:08:16 which is when semen comes out of your penis while you’re sleeping
00:08:21 This isn’t a problem
00:08:23 and you haven’t done anything wrong
00:08:25 it’s totally normal but it is a bit messy
00:08:29 You’ll have to wash yourself and change your sheets
00:08:33 I want you to know about this so you’re not worried or surprised
00:08:37 or embarrassed when it happens
00:08:39 and you can always talk to me about it and ask me for help
00:08:43 to keep the conversation open and going with your son
00:08:47 you can say
00:08:49 Okay, I’m going to stop there
00:08:51 We talked about some important things and we’ll continue these talks
00:08:57 As your body changes
00:08:59 it’s normal to have lots of feelings and worries
00:09:02 I’ll check in with you from time to time
00:09:05 Always know you can come to me with any feelings or questions
00:09:09 I’ll never be mad, shocked, or think you have a bad question.
00:09:14 I love you very much
00:09:23 Okay so now you have some tips to get started
00:09:27 and also some sample script that you can use
00:09:31 and adapt to have these conversation with your son about puberty
00:09:39 Remember, these conversations are opportunities
00:09:42 to connect with your son and deepen your relationship
00:09:46 It may feel uncomfortable at first but by addressing these topics
00:09:51 you’re showing him that you can handle discomfort
00:09:55 that you’re a reliable source of information
00:09:58 and that he can come to you with any questions or concerns
Tags:
puberty
son
child
parenting
body
change
adolescent